People Throw Rocks at Things That Shine

For some reason this song lyric popped into my head this morning, and I couldn’t let it pass unnoticed. (You’re welcome.) My reaction to it is mainly: What.

Oooh, something shiny! Quick, throw rocks!

Oooh, something shiny! Quick, throw rocks!

Let’s just talk for a moment about T. Swift. I know that the majority of her songs are about failed relationships and that it’s part of the contract with her record label that she date and then stop dating as many men as possible so she has an endless flow of material. I can accept that. But that doesn’t mean you can go writing crazy stuff like this.

I know it’s shocking to come across a weird lyric when the author is the artist who brought you “Teardrops on My Guitar” and “Mean,” but there it is. Now, I’m pondering to myself, “what was T. Swift thinking when she wrote this line?” (Oy. It’s come to this?? That I should live to see the day that I ponder such things…) I’m guessing it’s along the lines of “haters gonna hate.” But. Here’s my beef: people do NOT throw rocks at things that shine. I’m wracking my brain, wondering what she could be referring to…but nope.

People throw rocks at songwriters who use pointless metaphors.

Kiss from a large-eyed man in the snow

Alright, on the subject of WEIRD song lyrics: Seal. Come on, man. In “Kiss from a Rose”: Whaaat do you mean by “Did you know/That when it snows/My eyes become large”? Nobody knows. (BTW, music video = Seal’s open flowing black silk shirt in front of the Bat Signal. Just FYI.) When you google the song you get a lot of

“yeah, I’m like 98% sure this song is not about drugs…”

“Seal is a family man, not a drug pusher.”

Um. Color me not convinced.

Okay, last one, I promise. First, listen to this song:

This has been on the radio a lot lately. As my husband and I were driving along one day, he commented that this song sounds like it would be on a bad TV drama about firefighters, playing while they ran slo-mo into a burning building and sprayed it with hoses. I agreed, adding that the scene would be interspersed with the main character looking all angsty after his partner died in said fire. Also in slo-mo. However, it’s more likely this song will end up on a Microsoft commercial.

Does anyone else do this?

OH.

P.S.

My bracket was ruined. All you need to know is that Indiana didn’t win. Didn’t even get to the final two. But a big reason I did the whole bracket thing was so I could say, “Man, my bracket is ruined!!” Or, “Dude, I hope [insert team] doesn’t win or my bracket is RUINED.” So I went around saying stuff like that for a few weeks to whomever would listen. Now that that’s over we can focus on more important things. Like baseball season. Nothing says summer like America’s Favorite Pastime.

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