Day 16: Something difficult about your “lot in life” and how you’re working to overcome it.
Gee, I dislike the saying “lot in life” because it makes it sound like I had no say in what I’m doing now, just playing the hand I was dealt, and boy you got ta’ knooow when to hold em! Know when to foooollld ’em! …. sorry.
I suppose what’s currently most difficult about my “lot” is the lack of control over what used to be my time. I generally like having a schedule or some type of loose routine, and as I spend my days wrangling this adorable bundle of rolls, I don’t have much say in what I’m doing at a given moment.
I mean this in the little things. If I decide we’re packing up, getting into the car and going to Grandma’s, we’re doing it. (Though he can decide whether or not to make the ride miserable.)
I’m more talking about what I call “my own time.” You know, those moments during the day when you decide what to do next, and it’s as meaningful, trivial, productive or lazy as you want it to be. The phrase is also used to talk about doing things when you want to: “I’ll get that done on my own time.” (Or, “Please do that on your own time and stop wasting mine,” etc.) For example, I liked when exercise was part of a daily/semi-daily routine, and I always did it in the morning or after work. Now it happens in the apartment, during a half-hour nap period, or probably not at all. (Lately, definitely not at all.) I have to be much more intentional about it and really make myself do it.
It’s been an interesting ride, these last six months of motherhood. I’ve definitely learned so much about delayed gratification, with delayed sometimes meaning never. It’s clearly all worth it because the result is this:
but it has taken some getting used to. <–Understatement. And I’m definitely not done learning and growing.
So the “how I’m working to overcome it” part: Carpe diem. It’s particularly helpful if I can carpe the moment. If I’m not doing what I want in a given moment, I try not to dwell on it. There’s a time for everything, right? Many things aren’t actually necessary; most things can be delayed. And there’s always post-bedtime.